As we move toward adulthood, that relationship changes, and it can be challenging for adult daughters and their mothers . Here are a few tips for improving your mother-daughter relationship.

1. Be grateful:

Be grateful for the relationship you have. What would you do if you faced this person’s illness or loss? Show your mother or daughter how much you appreciate having her in your life and how much you love her by sending her a card or flowers, or even just a text message. Visit her or give her a call. Remember to count her among your blessings in life. Think about her feelings, and try focusing on giving, rather than demanding.

2. Communicate respectfully:

If you have a close relationship with your mother or daughter, you may feel like you can say anything to her, but think before you speak. Putting things in a thoughtful, caring way is the healthiest way to communicate.

3. Have healthy boundaries:

For many of us, our mom or our daughter is our best friend. But with close friends who aren’t related to you, you usually set healthy boundaries. You don’t ask more of them than you’re willing to give back, nor do you demand certain things.  You can save the chat time with your daughter for more mutually meaningful conversations.

4. Keep your expectations realistic:

If your mother is fastidious about cleanliness, and you’re not, then you may have to accept that you’ll need to tidy up when you visit her house and explain to her why yours is a little more cluttered. She’ll need to respect your housekeeping style, too.

5. Share new experiences:

Research shown that couples who try new activities together tend to be happier.Take a stroll somewhere new. Go see a play together. Swap books. Chat on Skype instead of the phone. Whether you live near each other or not, there are plenty of options for sharing new experiences together.

So much about family relationships has to do with respect, kindness, and healthy boundaries. Closeness and honesty are wonderful, and by paying attention to the ways you say things and what you expect of your mother or daughter, you’ll continue to grow your relationship in new, healthy ways.